Growing up
August 16th, 2021
I’m driving home with a lot on my mind. Seeing how I have these visions of this blog being a place that I can express who I am unapologetically, now that I’m trying to speak it into my phone it’s a little hard to find the words. A lot of things are changing around me lately. For example, the friends I used to have. I’m at a point in life where I have to start making decisions for my future and realizing that sometimes that means losing people. Growing up means growing out of old habits. Growing up means you keep going even if the ones you thought would be there forever… can’t keep up. This is something I definitely was not ready for. Who is though? Can you relate?
I realize lately that I’m in this transformation period where my old self is dead… or dying(as harsh as that sounds), but my new self isn’t really ready yet. When I think on situations or moments I either look at my past self and who I was before or I’m spiralling on who I could’ve been or what I should have done differently. Although, I forget to pay attention to my present self and how things look now. Does that block my ability to create real progress? I think that mindset definitely slows me down sometimes. I guess I feel like I could live in the moment more. I’m so overwhelmed because I think this hits me harder than most people. Let me explain…
Growing up I never really had a super close relationship with either of my parents. Not because there was a bad situation involved, but just because I didn’t really know how to sit down and be like,“Mom, this is what’s happening/going on and I need your help.” Ironically sometimes it was just easier to figure out on my own. I guess people’s definitions of ‘close’ can be different. Asking for help was harder for me. Fear was keeping me from being honest.
Growing up I always felt misunderstood and I learned quickly at a young age that bad things happen to good people too. When I was in high school I was never worried about college until I needed to be, and even then I still wasn't. People in my grade were already taking their SAT’S by junior year and planning what sororities they wanted to join. Me? In a sorority? That was never happening. I never really thought about what my dream wedding would be like or where I would see myself in five years. I’m understanding now that I’ve always just been a ‘go with the flow’ kind of person. Everyone around me at the time couldn’t really relate to this because you know, they were growing up differently and already knew the person they wanted to be. Which all of that is completely okay. I just ask myself, “What am I doing Anna?” I’ve always taken opportunities as they’ve come to me. Whether it worked out or not I was always going to be fine. I’m just now realizing that I’m turning 21 this month and when I said everything is changing lately I meant it.
But i’ve learned some things… if you’re in the same boat as me, maybe what I share through this blog will help you too.
♥ ♥ ♥
Before you go…
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this week’s post. If you are new here and reading my entries for the first time… welcome to A Dreamer’s Life! I’m so pleased to have someone to share advice and personal experiences with. I am super excited for the future of this blog & to bring you more content documenting a very free lifestyle.
A big part of this blog is to not only help you reconnect with yourself but also to create a lovely support system. This is a place you can always come to escape the overwhelming realities of the world. So first things first, how are you feeling? Tell me about your passions and inspirations and why you ended up here. I want this to be a place where you guys can express yourselves freely and unapologetically. Feedback & suggestions are always welcome. Reach out to me anytime you’d like.
I can’t wait to see where this journey takes us.
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- Anna
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